My name is Kara and I had a suicide attempt at the age of 18/19. I got in a fight with my bf at the time and he punched a wall breaking his hand so he had to go to the ER. Since we were fighting my mind twisted the situation into him leaving me so I got really depressed and took a bunch of pills. In the middle of taking these pills the thought of my deceased grandmother came to mind. Started thinking about how she wouldn’t want me to do this and how our religion believes you will go to hell after dying. I was slipping in and out of consciousness at this time and called 911 for help.
I was treated real badly in the ER and they said I didn’t really want to die that I was just attention seeking. So needless to say they treated me harshly and forced the tube through my nose and into my stomach. My nose is messed up from their forcing of the tube. So to this day I don’t ever like anyone to label me depressed but I do call it a dark despair and know now when to get help at age 44. I won’t ever admit to depression but I do have panic attacks that are very scary.
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